Is It Safe to Travel Alone as a Black Woman?

 

 

Traveling Alone as a Black Woman Taught Me How to Choose Myself Again

Everytime i told folks that i took a solo trip, drove serveral hours by myself, and went to 4 different cities in Arizona, people were either shocked or scared for me lol. but there was a point during in my life where I just stopped caring and start doing without any announments. 

And while i was there, I realized I finally didnt have to do anything for anybody. I wasn’t working. I wasn’t answering questions. I wasn’t coordinating someone else’s schedule. I wasn’t taking care of anyone. I wasn’t trying to make sure everybody around me was okay.

I was just...there. Driving through Arizona with the music playing. Watching the sunrise. Sitting down to eat by myself. Journaling. Pulling over when I saw something beautiful. Changing my plans because I felt like it. And somewhere in the middle of all that quiet, I realized how unfamiliar it had become to simply exist without constantly producing.

As Black women, we're often praised for how much we can carry. We're strong. We're resilient. We're dependable. We're the ones who figure it out. And while there's beauty in our strength, I've started questioning what happens when being "the strong one" becomes our permanent state of being.

What happens when strength turns into survival? For me, I had gotten so used to pushing through that I didn't always recognize when I was tired. I could still show up. Still work. Still handle business. Still be a mother. Still create. Still answer the phone. Still get things done.

But being functional and being well are two completely different things.

Burnout Doesn't Always Announce Itself

I used to think burnout would look dramatic. Like one day you just couldn't get out of bed anymore. But sometimes burnout looks like functioning. You're doing everything you're supposed to do, but you're disconnected from yourself while doing it.

You're tired even after you've rested. Things you once enjoyed feel like another task. Your creativity disappears. You're easily overwhelmed. And eventually, you realize you've spent so much time pouring that you don't even know what's left in your own cup. That's part of why I needed this trip. I didn't want to wait until my body forced me to stop before I finally gave myself permission to rest.

Black Women Deserve Softness Too

I think a lot about the relationship Black women have with rest. We've inherited generations of women who knew how to survive. Women who worked, raised families, cared for communities, stretched resources, solved problems and kept moving because often they didn't have another option.

I honor those women. But I also don't believe struggle has to be the only inheritance we carry forward. We deserve softness too. We deserve quiet mornings. We deserve vacations where we aren't responsible for everybody else's experience. We deserve to sit beside the water without thinking about what needs to happen next. We deserve joy that isn't attached to productivity.

And sometimes choosing softness means doing something that initially feels uncomfortable like going somewhere alone.

Traveling Alone Wasn't About Being Lonely

Before taking this trip, I wondered how I would feel doing everything alone. Would dinner feel awkward? Would I get bored? Would I wish somebody was there?

There were definitely moments when I thought, It would be nice to share this with somebody. But that wasn't the same as feeling lonely. What surprised me most was how much I genuinely enjoyed my own company. I could wake up when I wanted. Change my plans. Spend longer somewhere because I loved it. Pass gas in private LOL. Leave because I was tired. Eat what I wanted. Stop for a picture. Sit in silence.

And Nobody needed anything from me. For those few days, the only person I was responsible for listening to was myself. And I think I needed that more than I realized.

This Trip Was Never Really About Arizona

Arizona was beautiful. The canyons, the mountains, the desert, the sunsets, I could talk about those views forever.

But when I look back at that trip, the scenery isn't the only thing I remember. I remember how I felt. Lighter. Clearer. More grounded.

I remember realizing that I could trust myself. I could navigate unfamiliar roads. I could make decisions without needing someone else's approval. I could sit at a table alone without feeling like something was missing. And maybe most importantly, I realized:

I am capable of creating safety, joy and beautiful experiences for myself.

That realization followed me home.

If You've Been Thinking About Taking the Trip...

Take it. I'm not saying you have to fly across the country tomorrow or suddenly become a solo traveler. I'm saying stop automatically putting the things you want to experience on hold because nobody else is available, ready or willing to experience them with you. Start small if you need to. Take yourself to dinner. Visit the museum. Spend an afternoon somewhere you've always wanted to explore. Book the staycation. Sit by the water. Learn what it feels like to enjoy your own presence without needing to fill the silence. Because there's something powerful about realizing:

I am my own safe place.

And That's Where Prioritizing Her Begins

I came home from Arizona thinking about something much bigger than travel.

How often had I postponed myself? How many times had I given other people the grace, patience, care and attention that I wasn't giving myself? How often had I waited until I was exhausted to rest? And what would my life look like if I stopped treating myself like the last thing on my own list?

That's the question that eventually became Prioritizing Her.

Prioritizing Her isn't about becoming selfish or abandoning the people you love.

It's about making the decision to choose yourself before the world convinces you that everyone else should come first.

• It's taking care of your body.
• Protecting your peace.
• Healing what needs healing.
• Reconnecting with the woman underneath all the titles and responsibilities.
• Giving yourself grace.
• Dreaming again.

And learning to choose her not just when you're on vacation, but when you come home too.

Arizona may have been the trip.

But choosing myself was the journey. And now... I'm Prioritizing Her. 🤎

Keep the Journey Going 🤎
Arizona reminded me that choosing myself doesn’t stop when the trip ends. If you’re ready to intentionally pour back into yourself, join me for Prioritizing Her, my six-week journey of returning to YOU.

🤎 Join Prioritizing Her

And want to see how this solo adventure actually began?
🌵 Watch Day 1 of My Arizona Solo Trip on YouTube