How to Take Care of Yourself as a Single Mother

As a believer, it is important for you as a single mom to take care of yourself. You should strive to be spiritually, physically, and mentally healthy in order to be the woman God has called you to be.

Taking care of yourself is not selfish as a single mom. It is essential for you to be the best mother you can be. Also, Jesus teaches in Matthew 22: 39 that we shall love our neighbor as yourself. For me, how can I love others if I’m not taking care of self spiritually, physically, and mentally.

 

 

There are several ways a single mother can take care of themselves, including:

1. Prioritizing self-care: 

This can include taking time for activities that bring joy and relaxation, such as time with God, exercise, therapy, reading, or hobbies.

2. Setting boundaries: 

It's important for single mothers to set boundaries with their children, family, business, ministry, and others in their lives, in order to make time for yourself and your own needs.

3. Getting financial assistance: 

Single mothers may be eligible for government assistance programs, such as food stamps and cash assistance, to help with expenses. If you have a United Way in your city, please call 211 from your phone to see what services may be available to you.

4. Seeking counseling or therapy: 

Single mothers may benefit from counseling or therapy to help them cope with the stress of being a single parent and to work through any emotional issues.

Therapy Tip:

Check with your job benefits to see if you have therapy available as a benefit with your company. Search google for local programs that support therapy fees. Lastly, check with your local church to see if they offer counseling.

5. Building a support system: 

Single mothers can seek out support from friends, family, or a community of other single mothers. To become a member of the You Got This Club, a community for single moms to thrive not survive. Sign up to be added to the wait-list when the membership is available below. 

 

 

 

Avoiding Toxic Relationships as a Believer: What Measures Can You Take?

As a believer, there is so much to protect, steward, pray over. But one thing I've learned over time and one of the top things that affects us the most are relationships. This is an area I have decided to leave in God's hand personally. I figured it's obvious it's not my strong suit and he made us all. So He got it, so I've decided to follow His lead in this area. 

 

 

Toxic relationships are one of those things that the world laughs about or think is cute but it's one of the most dangerous things someone can get involved with. So I've decided to help out to discuss ways you can avoid toxic relationships by following these steps: 

Trust the leading of the Holy Spirit: 

If you discern that a relationship is unhealthy or toxic, it is probably best to stay away from it. It can become really toxic when you begin to think toxicity is cute. It's not! It's real and it could hurt you emotionally in the long run. 

Set healthy boundaries: 

Clearly communicate your boundaries when meeting others upfront and state your expectations to those you are in relationships with, and enforce them if necessary. If they can't respect that, remember your fear is in God not others. Walk away swiftly if you don't feel they respect your boundaries. 

Seek God’s guidance and wise counsel from trusted friends and mentors: 

Sometimes, it can be helpful to get advice from others who have experienced similar situations. This has saved me in many situations. 

Pray for guidance:

Ask for God's wisdom and direction in making decisions about your relationships. He's the best, why? Because again, he created us. 

Prioritize your relationship with God: 

By putting your relationship with God first, you will be better equipped to make decisions that honor Him and avoid toxic relationships. 

Focus on self-care: 

Taking care of yourself emotionally, physically, and spiritually can help you avoid toxic relationships and attract healthier ones. It's something about peace when you come from a childhood of trauma and did the work of healing your past. 

Let me tell you, the enemy hears your prayers and your cries so don't become desperate in this area allowing the worlds time clock to affect the path of God. Remember, it's okay to end a relationship if it's not healthy or toxic. Trust God to bring you the right people at the right time. He has a plan for your life but when you step in to rearrange the plan, you do yourself a disservice by getting involved with people who carry so much darkness before you know it, you're in a 10 year, too long relationship wondering who is the person you’re with. Guard your heart, pray and fast before you get involved with folks, and follow the prompting of the holy spirit. 

I hope this was helpful.

Prayer and Scriptures for Sexual Urges

Let's face it! This is a conversation that should properly be discussed in the church but to be honest a lot of individuals in ministry are still uncomfortable or still living a double lifestyle that causes them to not mention. Sex is a topic that some don't like to discuss but is much needed due to the real struggles people have. I am here to tell you if you are struggling in this area, there is hope. 

 

You're looking at someone who struggled for years in this area until I had enough and wanted more of God. Fornication, masturbation, and porn took up most of my upbringing because, to be honest, I had deeper issues. I didn't feel loved, I always felt alone, and I grew up in a very traumatic upbringing that I use it as an escape instead of leaning on God. Let me be clear, I was never a whore Munger as the church folks would say but if I was in a relationship with someone I did live a life of fornication as I became an adult and with myself that caused me alot of health issues.

 

Perversion was planted in me at a young age that eventually grow into an addiction but I am here to tell you I am free and so can you. How did I do so? Watch the video here on some steps but in the video, i discussed a prayer I wrote to help me when the urges came about. please keep in mind to "Trust in the Lord with ALL thy heart, and lean not into your own understanding." Proverbs 3:5. 

 

 God is a restorer and if he can do it for me, he can do it for you.

I also want to mention the topic of masturbation and porn. Nowhere in the bible will you find these words, I have looked but please go and look for yourself. "God’s plan for sex requires a relationship, namely, that of a husband and wife. Masturbation is sex disconnected from a relationship. Foundational to God’s plan for sex is giving one’s body to another. Masturbation is the keeping of one’s body to oneself. Do your research and whatever conviction you get, sis/bro just repent and allow God to free you. Need a great article to do some research, read HERE.

So if you are a Christian and practice the act of both please know it's no judgment but it's not a principle of God. If you are a leader, an influencer, or a thought leader, I don't want you to take this lightly because if you have a community, you'll bleed on them unconsciously and God will hold you accountable on judgment day. You've been warned in love. 

All I want for you after reading this is to be free in Christ so you can live to your highest potential. with further a due, below is scripture to read if youre dealing with urges and a prayer to help you overcome. Stay encourage. if you need prayer, please utilize our form on the ministry page at https://www.thegodfidentwoman.org/prayer-request 

 

Scriptures/Prayer Against Sexual Urges 

Read Romans 2:1-2

A Living Sacrifice
12 Therefore, I urge you,(A) brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice,(B) holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. 2 Do not conform(C) to the pattern of this world,(D) but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.(E) Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is(F)—his good, pleasing(G) and perfect will.

James 1:12
 Blessed is the man that endures temptation: for when he is tried, he shall receive the crown of life, which the Lord has promised to them that love him.

 

How can a single mother celebrate valentine's day

I know you can't help not to think of next week and it doesn't have to be a complete doozy not having a partner. It's a lot you can do as a single mom, so don't let your situation take root over you with negative thoughts that you're not worthy. Because you are. You're a mom and a great one at that and that's your superpower. 

 

 This week I wanted to share ways you can celebrate love as a single mother depending on your interests and circumstances. Below are some quick ideas:

1. Have a "girls' night in" with your children and close friends, complete with a homemade dinner, a movie, and fun games or activities. If you have someone who can care for your little one then just make it a Galentine's Day celebration. 

    

2. Planning a special outing with your children, such as going to the aquarium or zoo.

    

3. Treat yourself to a spa day or buy yourself a small gift, such as a book or piece of jewelry.

    

4. Spending time with friends and/or family by planning a day out or a dinner.

    

5. Organizing a special date with her children, such as a picnic in the park or an outing to a museum.

    

6. Volunteering with a local organization to give back to your community. 

Ultimately, the most important thing for you is to enjoy the company of those you loves and to do something that makes you feel good. Always know you're never alone. God is love and he created you in his image. Remember that and show love to others.

From sister to sister

Queen to queen

Mother to mother 

You Got this!

Activities List for Sick Toddler at Home

 Hey Sis!

For the last 2 weeks of January, my son and I have been cooped up in the house due to him being sick. What started off as pink-eye ending up being something I have never heard of. Trying to work from home and care for a sick child is a supernatural task, I know God had to step in for me because my my my. I thank God for his guidance and definitely his strength because Whew, it's been something kind of 2 weeks.

In life, I've learned to roll with and keep pushing (but make sure you are resting too). Caring for a sick toddler can be a challenge, but with the right activities, you can make it a little easier for both you and your little one. When a toddler is feeling under the weather, it's important to keep them entertained and distracted from their illness. With that in mind, I’ve compiled a list of fun and soothing activities that are perfect for a sick toddler. From reading and art to sensory play and baking, these activities will help your child feel better while they're on the road to recovery. So grab a cozy blanket, grab your little one, and let's get started!

 

 

1. Reading books and telling stories
2. Playing with play dough or modeling clay
3. Doing a puzzle or working on a coloring book. My favorite are $1 Tree coloring books
4. Building with blocks or Lego's
5. Playing dress-up or pretending with dolls or stuffed animals
6. Watching a favorite movie or TV show
7. Playing with cars or action figures
8. Doing a simple science experiment or craft project
9. Playing a board game or card game
10. Having a dance party or sing-along. Be sensitive to your child sickness to make sure this activities does not upset your toddler's tummy.
11. Doing a scavenger hunt around the house
12. Drawing or painting
13. Playing with water and measuring cups in the bathtub
14. Cooking or baking together
15. Having a indoor obstacle course or treasure hunt
16. Building a fort or teepee with blankets and pillows.

I want to add that during each activity, I make sure I am using newspapers, a large post it sheets, or get inexpensive table cloth at the dollar store so all you have to do is pick up items and dispose of them in the trash. 

 

Taking care of a sick toddler doesn't have to be all about medicine and rest. By incorporating some fun and engaging activities into their day, you can help your child feel better, both physically and emotionally. Remember to keep it simple, and focus on what your child enjoys. Whether it's reading a book, playing a game, or baking cookies, these activities will provide a much-needed distraction from their sickness and give you both a chance to bond. Above all, be patient, offer lots of love and cuddles, and remember that the most important thing is for your little one to get better.

If you need a more structured schedule with everything you need to succeed with a sick toddler at home, grab a copy of my Schedule Guide for Sick Toddlers below.

 

 

How To Get Your Toddler To Sleep In Their Own Bed and Room

Hi Queen!

Happy Saturday. I don't know about you but over the years, I felt like a lot of women unintentionally tried to project their issues onto me by telling me that my son would be 12 years old, still sleeping in my bed. I always looked with a side eye, like excuse me “Unh Unh get somebody else to do it” because that never sat well with me. I don't know about you sis but ain't nobody got time to be fighting these kids and the way they sleep. My son sleeps like he's working the field and I don't miss the nights when my back was on fire because of the many kicks I received in the middle of the night.

Let me tell you exactly what I did sis to help you begin to get a betters night sleep. I went straight to prayer and first asked God to help me with this situation sis because he knows me, and he knows my son. We are not the same! I said, father, you're gone, have to help me because I'll be darned if my son is a teenager and still sleeps in the bed with me. And guess what?!?! God did it!!! 

 

With much practice and consistency on my part. The baby boy sleeps faithfully in his room. He sometimes gets it twisted but I guide his butt right back to his room every time. Remember this is a transition and transitions take time. So give yourself and your toddler grace as you transition to this new season of another transition with your toddler.

 

Want to know exactly how to get this done? Let the operation eviction begin.

 

1. Start by making the transition gradual:

I started by putting my son's bed in my room so he could at least get comfortable sleeping in his bed. As soon as he turned 4, I had to put my foot down and move his bed back into his room so the transition could continue. If that doesn't work for you, begin by having your toddler nap in their bed during the day, and gradually move to have them sleep there at night.

2. Create a consistent bedtime routine:

This can be reading a story or having a dance party right before bed. My toddler is super smart so he knows when we do this, it's bedtime and he tries it but he is typically out no more than 30 minutes later.

3. Make sure their room is comfortable:

That's with a comfy mattress, adequate temperature, minimal noise, and warm lights. To make it extra special by adding their favorite character to their bed and room. My son is a spider man person, so spider-man is everywhere and that's ok. As long as he's out of my bed. I am fine with that.

4. Add thunder or rain sounds to their sleep:

 

My son has been sleeping with Thunder and rain sounds since he came out of the womb. So this becomes second nature to his routine at night and always puts him out. This typically helps draw out any outside noises that may come about because they are already on edge for sleeping alone, so hearing something outside could scare them and prompt them to come to your room

5. Give your toddler a sense of security:

This can be by leaving a nightlight on or providing a special blanket or stuffed animal. Also, adding neon warm lights (like the gamers have) was a game changer for me as well.

6. Be consistent and patient:

 

It may take some time for your toddler to adjust to sleeping in their bed and room, but sticking to a consistent routine will help.

7. Try putting the TV on as they sleep:

 

I didn't know but my son is a TV-sleeping toddler. It reminds me of my dad. When we were little and even now to this day. He sleeps with the tv on and the moment you turn it off, he will jump right out of bed. This must be a man’s thing because I know a lot of men that sleep this way but hey it works.

I hope these tips were helpful and please know I am praying for this transaction in your life that God will give strength to get past this difficult transition. I pray over your children that God will give them peace past their understanding. That they may rest well in their rooms and own bed. In Jesus' name, Shalom.

How to Put God First in Everything as a Single Mom

 

Happy New Year! 

Last week I talked about 6 Ways to Prepare for the New Year as a Single Mom. Over the next few weeks, I am going to be breaking down each suggestion I spoke of to allow you to get a better understanding of how you can tackle this year with ease.

The very first suggestion is all about putting God first. We hear so many people say put God first but do we understand how to practically incorporate this in our lives this year? You may ask, What are the steps? Where do I start? What does this look like? No worries queen, I've got you covered.

 

 

Putting God first in everything is a matter of prioritizing your relationship with God and seeking to align your actions and decisions with His will. I have learned he has to come first and I must look to him as a single mother because as we all know, it's not easy.

Here are a few practical steps you can take to put God first in your life:

1. Set aside time for daily time with God, prayer and studying the word for yourself.

2. If you can, look for a church home in your community and get involved in the community of believers.

3. Seek out opportunities to serve others especially when times are tough or you get lost. This always helps me find my way back to the father.

4. Make decisions based on what you believe is God's will for your life, rather than just what will benefit you in the short term. The worst thing you can do is make a mistake and move in haste based on emotion.

5. Surround yourself with people who can support you in your efforts to follow God.

 

 

Remember that this is a process, and it may take time to develop habits that help you put God first in everything. Be patient with yourself and seek guidance from God and other believers along the way.

 

 

From Sister to Sister,

Queen to Queen,

Mother to Mother 

You got this! ✨