How to Take Care of Yourself as a Single Mother

As a believer, it is important for you as a single mom to take care of yourself. You should strive to be spiritually, physically, and mentally healthy in order to be the woman God has called you to be.

Taking care of yourself is not selfish as a single mom. It is essential for you to be the best mother you can be. Also, Jesus teaches in Matthew 22: 39 that we shall love our neighbor as yourself. For me, how can I love others if I’m not taking care of self spiritually, physically, and mentally.

 

 

There are several ways a single mother can take care of themselves, including:

1. Prioritizing self-care: 

Prioritizing your self-care can look like like you putting yourself on the calendar and not rescheduling your time unless an serious emergency. This can include taking time for activities that bring joy and relaxation, such as time with God, exercise, therapy, reading, or hobbies.

2. Setting boundaries: 

It's important for single mothers to set boundaries with their children, family, business, ministry, and others in their lives, in order to make time for yourself and your own needs.

3. Getting financial assistance: 

Single mothers may be eligible for government assistance programs, such as food stamps and cash assistance, to help with expenses. If you have a United Way in your city, please call 211 from your phone to see what services may be available to you.

4. Seeking counseling or therapy: 

Single mothers may benefit from counseling or therapy to help them cope with the stress of being a single parent and to work through any emotional issues.

Therapy Tip:

Check with your job benefits to see if you have therapy available as a benefit with your company. Search google for local programs that support therapy fees. Lastly, check with your local church to see if they offer counseling.

5. Building a support system: 

Single mothers can seek out support from friends, family, or a community of other single mothers. To become a member of the You Got This Club, a community for single moms to thrive not survive. Sign up to be added to the wait-list when the membership is available below. 

 

 

 

Avoiding Toxic Relationships as a Believer: What Measures Can You Take?

As a believer, there is so much to protect, steward, pray over. But one thing I've learned over time and one of the top things that affects us the most are relationships. This is an area I have decided to leave in God's hand personally. I figured it's obvious it's not my strong suit and he made us all. So He got it, so I've decided to follow His lead in this area. 

 

 

Toxic relationships are one of those things that the world laughs about or think is cute but it's one of the most dangerous things someone can get involved with. So I've decided to help out to discuss ways you can avoid toxic relationships by following these steps: 

Trust the leading of the Holy Spirit: 

If you discern that a relationship is unhealthy or toxic, it is probably best to stay away from it. It can become really toxic when you begin to think toxicity is cute. It's not! It's real and it could hurt you emotionally in the long run. 

Set healthy boundaries: 

Clearly communicate your boundaries when meeting others upfront and state your expectations to those you are in relationships with, and enforce them if necessary. If they can't respect that, remember your fear is in God not others. Walk away swiftly if you don't feel they respect your boundaries. 

Seek God’s guidance and wise counsel from trusted friends and mentors: 

Sometimes, it can be helpful to get advice from others who have experienced similar situations. This has saved me in many situations. 

Pray for guidance:

Ask for God's wisdom and direction in making decisions about your relationships. He's the best, why? Because again, he created us. 

Prioritize your relationship with God: 

By putting your relationship with God first, you will be better equipped to make decisions that honor Him and avoid toxic relationships. 

Focus on self-care: 

Taking care of yourself emotionally, physically, and spiritually can help you avoid toxic relationships and attract healthier ones. It's something about peace when you come from a childhood of trauma and did the work of healing your past. 

Let me tell you, the enemy hears your prayers and your cries so don't become desperate in this area allowing the worlds time clock to affect the path of God. Remember, it's okay to end a relationship if it's not healthy or toxic. Trust God to bring you the right people at the right time. He has a plan for your life but when you step in to rearrange the plan, you do yourself a disservice by getting involved with people who carry so much darkness before you know it, you're in a 10 year, too long relationship wondering who is the person you’re with. Guard your heart, pray and fast before you get involved with folks, and follow the prompting of the holy spirit. 

I hope this was helpful.

Prayer and Scriptures for Sexual Urges

Let's face it! This is a conversation that should properly be discussed in the church but to be honest a lot of individuals in ministry are still uncomfortable or still living a double lifestyle that causes them to not mention. Sex is a topic that some don't like to discuss but is much needed due to the real struggles people have. I am here to tell you if you are struggling in this area, there is hope. 

 

You're looking at someone who struggled for years in this area until I had enough and wanted more of God. Fornication, masturbation, and porn took up most of my upbringing because, to be honest, I had deeper issues. I didn't feel loved, I always felt alone, and I grew up in a very traumatic upbringing that I use it as an escape instead of leaning on God. Let me be clear, I was never a whore Munger as the church folks would say but if I was in a relationship with someone I did live a life of fornication as I became an adult and with myself that caused me alot of health issues.

 

Perversion was planted in me at a young age that eventually grow into an addiction but I am here to tell you I am free and so can you. How did I do so? Watch the video here on how I overcame, I discussed a prayer I wrote to help me when the urges came about. please keep in mind to "Trust in the Lord with ALL thy heart, and lean not into your own understanding." Proverbs 3:5. 

 

 God is a restorer and if he can do it for me, he can do it for you.

I also want to mention the topic of masturbation and porn. Nowhere in the bible will you find these words, I have looked but please go and look for yourself. "God’s plan for sex requires a relationship, namely, that of a husband and wife. Masturbation is sex disconnected from a relationship. Foundational to God’s plan for sex is giving one’s body to another. Masturbation is the keeping of one’s body to oneself. Do your research and whatever conviction you get, sis/bro just repent and allow God to free you. Need a great article to do some research, read HERE.

So if you are a Christian and practice the act of both please know it's no judgment but it's not a principle of God. If you are a leader, an influencer, or a thought leader, I don't want you to take this lightly because if you have a community, you'll bleed on them unconsciously and God will hold you accountable on judgment day. You've been warned in love. 

All I want for you after reading this is to be free in Christ so you can live to your highest potential. with further a due, below is scripture to read if youre dealing with urges and a prayer to help you overcome. Stay encourage. if you need prayer, please utilize our form on the ministry page at https://www.thegodfidentwoman.org/prayer-request 

 

Scriptures/Prayer Against Sexual Urges 

Read Romans 2:1-2

A Living Sacrifice
12 Therefore, I urge you,(A) brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice,(B) holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. 2 Do not conform(C) to the pattern of this world,(D) but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.(E) Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is(F)—his good, pleasing(G) and perfect will.

James 1:12
 Blessed is the man that endures temptation: for when he is tried, he shall receive the crown of life, which the Lord has promised to them that love him.

 

Should I Celebrate Halloween as a Christian Mom?

Guess what is the #2 questions being asked on google right now? Should I celebrate Halloween as a Christian? The personal question you should ask yourself is:

• What is God saying to me? 
• What does the bible say about Halloween? 
• What is the origin? 

Think about where your relationship with God is in this current moment. What have you overcome? If mental or spiritual battles is something you've been dealing with for sometime, you may need to stop and think about the open doors that need to be closed. Personal I could no longer associate myself with this holiday because of where my relationship is with God and my prayer for you is that you stop and think before you get involved with anything going on in the world. 

 

For more information about the origin of Halloween, learn more on history.com at: https://www.history.com/topics/halloween/history-of-halloween 

 

What does the bible say about the dead? https://www.openbible.info/topics/the_dead 

 

3 Alternative you can do to with your kid

1. Practice QT with your children daily.

2. Take them to a pumpkin patch to celebrate fall and harvest time.

3. Talk to your kids about the different holidays and what they represent. 

 

 

Talking to my son about everything that goes around us is vital for our relationship even though he's 4. It's a staple in our home and as long as you keep that open communication with your children, at the end of the day that's all that matters. 

 

This is not to condemn but to bring awareness to believers about the relationship with God. God says in Isaiah 5:20, Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!"Take a moment with God today and ask him how he feels about this particular holiday.

Full YouTube video👇🏽

 

 

Top 3 Things You Should be Cautious About When it Comes to Your Kids

 

With so much going on in the world like the multiple suicide, death, and kidnapping. I am a true believer, that if we can identify the little things early on in our children's journey, we guide them in the right path. 

 

For the past 2 years, I have set down and began to monitor what my child is watching, looking at, singing, the whole 9. With so many ways the enemy comes in, we as parents should be aware of our kid's eye/ear gates as well as ours. The devil is busy prowling like a lion and he’s especially going after our kid's childhood. God has put me on assignment this year to make you aware of a few things as parents to watch-out for. See below for my top three things so far this month.

1. What they're watching 

YouTube-Kids

I love YouTube but after watching my baby’s screen time over time, I realize that it is not for kids. It doesn't matter how much you monitor or put parental controls on these devices, these kids will either find another way to get to it, or YouTube somehow still shows them similar suggested videos.

My suggestion: Erase the app.

Examples below.

• A man in a dress and an IT figure in a LIVE video.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qW_doLPMFxo

• Aliens saying Give It to me. Dame tu cosita, ah ah, Dame tu cosita, ah ay. English translation Give it to me, ah ah. This video has over 500 billion views and I'm sure 90% are young kids under 5 years old. 

   

  Though the literal translation of the word "cosita" is innocent enough (it means "little thing"), the chorus of this ditty is dripping with sexual innuendo. Just like the "it" in the English translation given above, "cosita" most likely refers to someone's genitalia, so this song isn't one for the kids but is on YouTube kids. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k3EFfS9yLfQ

• Women bent over on a spider-man YouTube video

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=67yRDVpisj4

2. Cultural Practice

Lately, I have been seeing parents incorporate gentle parenting into motherhood.

Did you know gentle parenting was created by an atheist? Don't believe me? Look up Diana Baumrind https://www.apadivisions.org/division-35/about/heritage/diana-baumrind-biography

I am not here to tell anyone what/how to parent, just want you to research everything that society is making trendy. Remember we are in this world but not of it.

3. British nursery rhymes

Have you ever wondered why a lot of songs come from Britain or are British? Why are songs repeated in history, generation after generation? Well, you wouldn't believe this, a lot of the songs our children are singing at school are depicting death upon them. Some rhymes have multiple meanings but these are a few that stuck out to me during my research over the past 3 years and they are not songs we sing in my home. I don't sing any of the nursery rhymes due to the historic origin of them all. My advice: Do your homework.

• Ring around Rosey- The fatalism of the rhyme is brutal: the roses are a euphemism for deadly rashes, the posies a supposed preventative measure; the a-tishoos pertain to sneezing symptoms, and the implication of everyone falling down is, well, death

• London bridges-London Bridge Is Falling Down” rhyme refers to the use of a medieval punishment known as immurement. Immurement is when a person is encased into a room with no openings or exits and left there to die

• Humpy dumpy- meaning a person or thing that once overthrown cannot be restored.

• Here We Go Round the Mulberry Bush- Lucy Locket is about a famous spat between two legendary 18th Century prostitutes. Here We Go Round the Mulberry Bush originated, according to historian RS Duncan, at Wakefield Prison in England, where female inmates had to exercise around a mulberry tree in the prison yard.

• Baa, Baa, Black Sheep-a song that alludes to slavery. The reasoning here was that the titular “black sheep” was a reference to African slaves, with the wool referencing them being forced to work on farms

For more research, I love this BBC article on nursery rhymes: https://www.bbc.com/culture/article/20150610-the-dark-side-of-nursery-rhymes

Again, this blog is not to bash, condemn, or point the finger. I am here to make you as a mother, aware of how the enemy prowls so that the weapon may be formed but you have the ability to not allow it won't prosper. Please take the time to research the things that involve your kids, monitor them, take time with them, and do not allow society to tell you how to raise your child. Ephesians 6:4 states to train them in the instructions of the Lord. Go to God about what to do, not people, YouTube, or the world."Culture can't teach you how to raise a kingdom kid." It'll never work. 

I hope this blessed you. If so, hit me up on IG @zaklgrace and let me know in my DM's.

If you're not subscribed to the authentic tribe. See below.

 

 

How to Instill Faith with Your Child at a Young Age

 

 

Hello! Welcome to AuthenticallyZ, where I help you refuel your faith, work on your image, & tackle motherhood. I did a Live on IG on how to instill faith with your child at a young age. This article is not to tell anyone how to parent their children but simple tips to train up your child so they won't depart as the word of God says.

 

As I think about motherhood, the first thoughts for me are the future. I think about the day my baby leaves for college and start his new life. I never want to be that mother that doesn’t have a life without baby. In order for that to happen I want my son to know how he can solely lean on God, not always me. I will always have an open communication with my baby but I want him to have direct connections with God. Below are some tips on how to instill faith with your child at a young age.

1. Teach them about God and who he is. 

I used to make jokes about how God sees all with my baby but I don't want my baby to be scared of God but have respect for him so he won’t rebel against himself. God told me to teach him who I am and show him the way, my truth and my light.

2. Create a daily routine

Pray every night and morning with them. Trust they will begin to remember. Around eating time. I started praying with my baby at 6 weeks and he is now 3 and know how to pray. Take the time to train them, the impact will make a difference in their lives.

3. Live out faith in front of them.

We are our children's first heroes whether we want to or not. Our job is to introduce God to them so they can have a relationship with him. That starts with surrendering our kids back to God. One thing I never want for my baby to do is not known what real emotions are and try to hide my feelings. I want him to know emotions but understand how to turn worry to God instead of focusing on the problem at hand.

4. Incorporate Christian music in their lives

Instead listen to songs that can destroy them. Try listening to Christian music from time to time. So they begin to understand the difference. And explain the difference between secular/ Christian music.

5. Heal if you have hurt within.
 

"Heal before your child has to heal from you."

By healing and allowing God to do work within you. Your children will see the fruit of it. And get to experience something better. With these kids, you can't say it's what I say, not what I do. They will not go for that. They are coming out asking questions, and demanding answers and I don’t blame them.

5 Things that Can Alter Faith in Your Child

These are tips based on the damage I felt I experienced as a child. Also, from surveying family and friends with questions. Think about what happened to you as a child and do your best not to plant the same seeds.

1.What they're watching

Certain TV shows have subliminal message that sits in your child mind. One thing I love to do is monitor what my baby is doing and watching. Back in December I started realizing an aggression with my child began to have over YouTube kids so I pulled it. The stuff that was coming on and the things he was clicking on truly disturb me as a mother. See…. Watch what their watching and see how they are responding

2. Not keeping a child in a child's place. 

Don't get upset if your child is reacting a certain way based on the responsibility you've put on them.

Ephesians 6:4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.

3. Not watching their surroundings.

I remember I had to change school 6 months because my baby’s old daycare couldn’t provide my son with some of the disciplinary, I needed him to have as I was at home like saying no sometimes to things he didn’t’ need, babying him, and showing him how to clean up after himself.

4. Disciplining them out of constant anger.

Are you whooping them because they are just being a kid or are you beating them? To me, if you are beating them, remember what beating did to you. Some of us are in therapy now for those beatings. Never release anger on them, this is an easy way for a kid to retain generational curses and instill rebellion in them. Go back to the scripture below.

Ephesians 6:4
Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.


5. Not practicing what you preach.

Not practice what you are preaching is a sure way for your child to do the opposite of what you’re telling them. So, if you are not exemplifying the instruction, don’t expect them to do so as well.

I hope you’ve enjoyed this blog today. If you need some encouragement in faith, mother, and image, don’t sign up to the tribe to receive weekly encouragement and get a BTS of me in the process of writing my book on my story. XOXO Zak

5 Scriptures to Pray Over Your Child Daily

 

Happy Friday! I hope your day is filled with love, peace, and productivity. Lately, God has had me in a state of deep intercession for the little ones, especially my baby because I don’t know about you guys but growing up as an adult, I had to relearn a lot that stemmed from childhood trauma. In my journey of faith, I have made it a priority to make sure I intercede for my baby now for later attacks that may try to arise. During this process, God spoke that this needs to be a daily routine as mothers, grandparents, aunts, teachers, or even a Godparent.

Today we are diving in a few scriptures you can pray over your children daily. One thing I’ve learned when it comes to prayer is that we may not always see immediate results or the results we expect but God will always change something in us. These are a blessing to me so I know they will be a blessing for you. I literally cried.

 

5 Scriptures to Pray Over Your Child Daily

 

1. Proverbs 22:6

Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old, he will not depart from it.

 

Prayer: Father help me to begin training up my children in the way they should go, so they will not depart. In Jesus name, Amen.

           

2. Ephesians 6:4

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. 

 

Prayer: Father help me to be more like your son Jesus so I won’t provoke my children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of you.  

In Jesus name, Amen.

                                                            

3. Proverbs 20:7

The righteous who walks in his integrity— blessed are his children after him! 

 

Prayer: Father, thank you for being my father, my protection, my love. Holy spirit, thank you for guiding me to walk in integrity each and every day so that my children are blessed and my children’s children’s are blessed. In Jesus name, Amen.

 

4. Psalm 115:14

May the Lord give you increase, you and your children! 

 

Prayer: Father, Thank you for increase! Increase in my heart, increase in my mind, and an increase in my soul and that because you have instilled these things to me, you will bless my children. In Jesus name, Amen.

5. Proverbs 13:24  

Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him. 

 

Prayer: Father thank you for this gift you have given me. Thank you for motherhood, thank you for giving me the ability to birth this child. Father when it comes to disciple, help me to discipline my child to your liking how you would discipline me. Father may all anger, agitation, and disguise leave my spirit and renew my mind to see my children the way you see them as precious gems from heaven even when they don’t act like it. In Jesus name, Amen.

Click below to grab you a copy of “5 Scriptures to Pray over your Child Daily” and watch how this blesses you as much as it did to me. You can put this in your prayer closet, your fridge, your work desk, your bathroom, even your car.

 

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How to Overcome Anxiety

 

Hi sis! I did a live Instagram post this past Tuesday that talked about How to Identify the weapons, so they won't prosper that led to a Q&A session of someone dealing with anxiety. God led me to tell one of the listeners a strategy he gave me after I had my baby boy. Did you know google has 265 million searches on this top. All that tells me is that we have some work to do.

I remember being so anxious and feeling jittery that I couldn't control myself. I just had my baby boy, just got out of the hospital from chronic pneumonia, and my husband told me he wanted a divorce. My stress levels were so high for about 6 months until I began healing.

Anxiety came from the multiple emotions from breastfeeding, I didn't feel safe in my own home, and I didn't know what was going to happen next in my life. But God! Thank you for your peace, grace, and mercy.

During that time, I asked God to heal me from this cup because I knew that this wasn't the life and mentality he wanted me to live. So he gave me this small strategy that made a huge impact in my life. See below.

1. He told me to take the negative word I was feeling and look up the antonyms for it. After I saw the antonyms he told me to take the opposite of what that word means and apply scriptures that can back them up.

Example: If you are feeling like you are dealing with anxiety. Look up the antonym which is: Belief, blessing, calm, calmness, confidence, ease, faith, happiness, joy, peace, trust, peacefulness, assurance, and tranquility.

Whew!!!

2. Read those scriptures daily until something changes and even after

3. Meditate on the scriptures

4. Pray that God will heal you from that negative feelings.

When I tell you that was everything to me. To this day from 2019, I am totally healed from fear, anxiety, depression, and suicide. I thank God for his healing.

Final advice:

• Make sure you stay in your word and learn God for yourself.
• Find a church home.
• Find a therapist near you to help with these emotions.

If you need to know where you can find scriptures, try the following below:

• Biblehub.com
• Biblegateway.com
• Gotquestions.org

Want to deepen your victory in overcome emotions/feelings? Grab the guide below to start the process of healing from negative feelings below.

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How to Not Get Overwhelmed by the New Year

 

Happy New Year sis!

Last week I logged into social media and I immediately got overwhelmed by the number of people telling me how to run my year. That instantly disturbed me. On Thursday, I was instructed by the Holy Spirit to speak about How to not get overwhelmed by the new year to help you. You can watch it here.

With this ever-changing system, social media can be a lot. Sis, do not get overwhelmed about how someone else is moving. It's their journey. It's nothing wrong with taking notes but do just that and test the spirit of everyone you encounter. 1 John 4:1 states to, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world.

You have no idea what people are dabbling in and who their true source is. Anything that is rooted back to a person is out of selfishness and is a lie from the pit of hell. If they are not leading you to God, test it. What are the fruit they are producing.

Remember most people who are all excited about the new year, fold in mid-February. So take these steps and remember God got you, that you have no worries. 

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-8

So why not take this time and build whatever strategy God has for you for your new year. 

Top 3 Steps to Overcome

 

1. Start with God. 

 

Matthew 6:33 talks about seeking first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. 

For me, when I anchor myself with God, his peace always surpasses the noise the world is projecting. I noticed in my live I didn't give you the tools to know how to seek him. What does that look like? Seeking God starts with practice. It's a practice that I started in October and has been a blessing to my life. It alleviates error, wrongdoing, and His timing. If you are looking for a great resource. Check out the practice of the presence of God here.

All you have to do is take a moment to calm your spirit and set with God. God showed me that a lot of times it's not about receiving insight or instructions. Seeking Him and setting in His presence can sometimes be about calming your spirit back to Christ, where the words says our eyes should be. This leads me to the second note.

 

2. Take a social media break

 

If your mind gets cloudy and overwhelmed quickly, take a social media break for a few days. And don't just get off to say you got off, gear back to the #1 and seek God on how to utilize these platforms. When you come back, clean up your social media. Go through your friend list, and ask God who needs to be removed and do a thorough cleaning. 

If you feel you will miss something from another person's life, that is rooted in something much deeper and I would ask that you check your spirit as to why it's important for you to keep with another person's life. A lot of these stars you follow have a lot of problems and bring them to the media which is transferring straight to you. Yep, I said it. Don't praise others because remember why you are here in the first place. Go back to the promises God has instilled in you and focus on the purpose God has for your life. Don't do what everybody is telling you to do. 

Ask God:

• What is He speaking to you about? 
• What are some goals that He want you to focus on in your life?

This world is getting worse and we have to protect our minds and eye from the enemy because he is planting seeds in your mind. Remember he is here for only three things and that's to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. John 10:10.

3. Take it Easy. 

 

I cannot stretch this enough. One thing God spoke to me about is that it is OK to give yourself grace and relax. I think as a believer because it can feel like you are behind on the knowledge. It's like you're in a race to catch up. For me, waking up from a 20 year dead space can make you feel behind but oh no honey, God will restore everything back to you as stated in Joel 2:25.

And I will restore to you the years that the locust hath eaten, the cankerworm, and the caterpillar, and the palmerworm, my great army which I sent among you.

All we have to do is follow his lead, not our own.

In your journey, I pray a spirit of execution over you that you become not just a hearer of the word but a doer. I speak a doer spirit over you that you will allow God to order your steps into this new year. 

I hope this blog has blessed you, happy new year to you and I want to invite you to my first Live MasterClass How to Redefine your Image in God on February 12th at 10:30 am. 

 

Join me live for a moment of redefining who God says you are, on understanding your image, confidence to keep pushing on the things God has instilled in you.

 

Register here.