As we are midway through the school year and as a parent, I want to ensure that my child develops positive behavior habits that set him up for success. When he started receiving conduct marks for things like not listening the first time or being slightly disruptive, I knew it was important to understand what was causing these challenges and how to best support his growth. Here’s how to navigate this if you're ever in this situation as a parent trying to support your child effectively both in class and raising them up.
Step 1: Take a Breath First
The first thing I had to do was just take a breath. As parents, we juggle so much—not just in our personal lives but also with everything happening around the world. When something happens at school, especially when it feels unclear as to what is happening, my first reaction is frustration. But before reacting, I take a moment, breathe, and approach the situation with a clear mind.
Step 2: Helping Your Child at Home
After calming down and understanding the situation, the next step is to help your child navigate their behavior effectively.
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Discuss Their Conduct Openly
Sit down with your child and have a calm conversation about what happened. Ask open-ended questions to get their side of the story. This helps you understand if the marks are justified or if they feel unfairly treated. Instead of jumping to conclusions, use this as a learning moment.
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Create a Behavior Tracking Chart
Kids love visuals, and a behavior tracking system helps them take ownership of their actions. Log daily whether they listened the first time, followed directions, and stayed focused in class. Celebrate small wins and progress rather than just focusing on mistakes. To add fun to it, I like to add a sticker to reward great behavior.
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Use Positive Reinforcement
Instead of just focusing on punishment, reward good behavior. Praise them when they listen the first time, follow directions, or improve their focus. Small incentives, like extra playtime or a fun activity, can be strong motivators to keep them on track.
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Practice Listening & Following Directions
Reinforce listening skills at home by turning it into a game. Give simple directions and challenge them to follow them the first time. Over time, this helps build a habit of immediate response and attentiveness.
If there isn’t any improvement, I usually take it to the next step below.
Step 3: Communicating with the School
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Request a Meeting with the Teacher
Open communication with your child’s teacher is essential. This week, I scheduled a meeting with my son’s teacher to gain a clearer understanding of the situation. When preparing for a meeting like this, think about specific questions that relate to your child’s experiences. Ask about the school’s behavior policies, how conduct marks are assigned, and whether the challenges are unique to your child or part of a broader classroom issue.
I approach these conversations as a collaborative effort to support my child, rather than just seeking answers.
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Ask for Documentation & School Policies
If you don't have it already, request a copy of the behavior policy to ensure the school is following clear guidelines. This helps understand what’s expected and if there is details you need to know about in discipline.
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Ensure Fair Treatment
If I suspect that my child is being unfairly disciplined compared to others, I would gather evidence by talking to other parents, requesting class observations, or discussing with school administrators.
Our kids behavior is an opportunity for growth, both for them and for you as their advocate. By reinforcing positive behaviors at home, you can help them develop the skills needed to succeed. Open dialogue with teachers, setting clear expectations, and tracking progress are key strategies in guiding them toward better conduct.
Would you like a free copy of the Behavior Tracking Chart to help guide your child’s progress? Click here to download it and start using it today!
