How to Stay Sane as a Single Mom

 

How to Stay Sane as a Single Mom

Hey sis! Happy Friday and Mental Health Awareness month. I don't know about you but motherhood can sometimes get the best of you if you let it. It's a handful and a second job especially if you're a single mother. But guess what? I want to change your perspective today to know that even though you may feel alone, you are not alone, God is right with you.

The enemy use to try and toil with my emotions telling me:

• I was alone.
• I didn't sign up for this.
• That I was being punished somehow.
• That my child was bad.
  

Until one day, the holy spirit had to remind me that:

• I am never alone.
• God got my back.
• I am not being punished.
• My child is a gift from God.
  

Transparency moment: I had to get real with myself and God. I went to God and had a straight up moment with him earlier this year. I said, God you knew I would be here, you knew the outcome of my life before I knew it. I know I have made mistakes but there has to be a better way of living like this in motherhood. I am your daughter but why does this feel so hard and feel defeated? I did not sign up to be worn out, tired all the time, and just feeling completely depleted.

Let me tell you about the power of God! All I felt was the power of God submerged me with his presence and lifted the heavy burden off. I was set free in this area and I can honestly say my mind changed, my heart changed, and motherhood changed because what I once thought was a burden, God was gifting me in real life. This is just one of many posts coming to you sis but know if you have an honest conversation with God about the things He already sees in your heart. God says:

 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

With this being Mental Help Awareness Month, below are 3 Ways You Can Stay Sane as a Single Mother

1. Commune with God Daily

This is key to staying sane. Starting your day with God will solidify your foundation on where your trust is. It's a reassuring feeling to have time with your father and even if it's not in the am, there are plenty of options you can commune with him. In your car, at your work desk(if you have a 9-5), on your lunch break, in the bathroom, right now.

2. Take a moment for you

This is yet another key. I remember when I first became a mother. I had no time for myself and was so afraid to ask for support until I got completely burnt out. It's ok to ask for help, its ok to take time for you. Remember, if you aren't good, your family isn't good. Mark 12:31 states to ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.” How are you loving yourself?

3. Cover your children in Prayer

This is my favorite. Let me tell you about the authority you have over your child. Our kids are our assignment, they are a gift from God. Covering your kids is probably one of the best things you can do for your children because you can't stop all pain from happening to them but God our father can cover them in ways you couldn't imagine.

I hope these were some helpful tips for you and hope you have an awesome weekend. To get you started on the task of covering. Download the “5 prayers to pray over your children.” It was a game changer for my life. 

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Top 3 Things You Should be Cautious About When it Comes to Your Kids

 

With so much going on in the world like the multiple suicide, death, and kidnapping. I am a true believer, that if we can identify the little things early on in our children's journey, we guide them in the right path. 

 

For the past 2 years, I have set down and began to monitor what my child is watching, looking at, singing, the whole 9. With so many ways the enemy comes in, we as parents should be aware of our kid's eye/ear gates as well as ours. The devil is busy prowling like a lion and he’s especially going after our kid's childhood. God has put me on assignment this year to make you aware of a few things as parents to watch-out for. See below for my top three things so far this month.

1. What they're watching 

YouTube-Kids

I love YouTube but after watching my baby’s screen time over time, I realize that it is not for kids. It doesn't matter how much you monitor or put parental controls on these devices, these kids will either find another way to get to it, or YouTube somehow still shows them similar suggested videos.

My suggestion: Erase the app.

Examples below.

• A man in a dress and an IT figure in a LIVE video.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qW_doLPMFxo

• Aliens saying Give It to me. Dame tu cosita, ah ah, Dame tu cosita, ah ay. English translation Give it to me, ah ah. This video has over 500 billion views and I'm sure 90% are young kids under 5 years old. 

   

  Though the literal translation of the word "cosita" is innocent enough (it means "little thing"), the chorus of this ditty is dripping with sexual innuendo. Just like the "it" in the English translation given above, "cosita" most likely refers to someone's genitalia, so this song isn't one for the kids but is on YouTube kids. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k3EFfS9yLfQ

• Women bent over on a spider-man YouTube video

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=67yRDVpisj4

2. Cultural Practice

Lately, I have been seeing parents incorporate gentle parenting into motherhood.

Did you know gentle parenting was created by an atheist? Don't believe me? Look up Diana Baumrind https://www.apadivisions.org/division-35/about/heritage/diana-baumrind-biography

I am not here to tell anyone what/how to parent, just want you to research everything that society is making trendy. Remember we are in this world but not of it.

3. British nursery rhymes

Have you ever wondered why a lot of songs come from Britain or are British? Why are songs repeated in history, generation after generation? Well, you wouldn't believe this, a lot of the songs our children are singing at school are depicting death upon them. Some rhymes have multiple meanings but these are a few that stuck out to me during my research over the past 3 years and they are not songs we sing in my home. I don't sing any of the nursery rhymes due to the historic origin of them all. My advice: Do your homework.

• Ring around Rosey- The fatalism of the rhyme is brutal: the roses are a euphemism for deadly rashes, the posies a supposed preventative measure; the a-tishoos pertain to sneezing symptoms, and the implication of everyone falling down is, well, death

• London bridges-London Bridge Is Falling Down” rhyme refers to the use of a medieval punishment known as immurement. Immurement is when a person is encased into a room with no openings or exits and left there to die

• Humpy dumpy- meaning a person or thing that once overthrown cannot be restored.

• Here We Go Round the Mulberry Bush- Lucy Locket is about a famous spat between two legendary 18th Century prostitutes. Here We Go Round the Mulberry Bush originated, according to historian RS Duncan, at Wakefield Prison in England, where female inmates had to exercise around a mulberry tree in the prison yard.

• Baa, Baa, Black Sheep-a song that alludes to slavery. The reasoning here was that the titular “black sheep” was a reference to African slaves, with the wool referencing them being forced to work on farms

For more research, I love this BBC article on nursery rhymes: https://www.bbc.com/culture/article/20150610-the-dark-side-of-nursery-rhymes

Again, this blog is not to bash, condemn, or point the finger. I am here to make you as a mother, aware of how the enemy prowls so that the weapon may be formed but you have the ability to not allow it won't prosper. Please take the time to research the things that involve your kids, monitor them, take time with them, and do not allow society to tell you how to raise your child. Ephesians 6:4 states to train them in the instructions of the Lord. Go to God about what to do, not people, YouTube, or the world."Culture can't teach you how to raise a kingdom kid." It'll never work. 

I hope this blessed you. If so, hit me up on IG @zaklgrace and let me know in my DM's.

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How to Instill Faith with Your Child at a Young Age

 

 

Hello! Welcome to AuthenticallyZ, where I help you refuel your faith, work on your image, & tackle motherhood. I did a Live on IG on how to instill faith with your child at a young age. This article is not to tell anyone how to parent their children but simple tips to train up your child so they won't depart as the word of God says.

 

As I think about motherhood, the first thoughts for me are the future. I think about the day my baby leaves for college and start his new life. I never want to be that mother that doesn’t have a life without baby. In order for that to happen I want my son to know how he can solely lean on God, not always me. I will always have an open communication with my baby but I want him to have direct connections with God. Below are some tips on how to instill faith with your child at a young age.

1. Teach them about God and who he is. 

I used to make jokes about how God sees all with my baby but I don't want my baby to be scared of God but have respect for him so he won’t rebel against himself. God told me to teach him who I am and show him the way, my truth and my light.

2. Create a daily routine

Pray every night and morning with them. Trust they will begin to remember. Around eating time. I started praying with my baby at 6 weeks and he is now 3 and know how to pray. Take the time to train them, the impact will make a difference in their lives.

3. Live out faith in front of them.

We are our children's first heroes whether we want to or not. Our job is to introduce God to them so they can have a relationship with him. That starts with surrendering our kids back to God. One thing I never want for my baby to do is not known what real emotions are and try to hide my feelings. I want him to know emotions but understand how to turn worry to God instead of focusing on the problem at hand.

4. Incorporate Christian music in their lives

Instead listen to songs that can destroy them. Try listening to Christian music from time to time. So they begin to understand the difference. And explain the difference between secular/ Christian music.

5. Heal if you have hurt within.
 

"Heal before your child has to heal from you."

By healing and allowing God to do work within you. Your children will see the fruit of it. And get to experience something better. With these kids, you can't say it's what I say, not what I do. They will not go for that. They are coming out asking questions, and demanding answers and I don’t blame them.

5 Things that Can Alter Faith in Your Child

These are tips based on the damage I felt I experienced as a child. Also, from surveying family and friends with questions. Think about what happened to you as a child and do your best not to plant the same seeds.

1.What they're watching

Certain TV shows have subliminal message that sits in your child mind. One thing I love to do is monitor what my baby is doing and watching. Back in December I started realizing an aggression with my child began to have over YouTube kids so I pulled it. The stuff that was coming on and the things he was clicking on truly disturb me as a mother. See…. Watch what their watching and see how they are responding

2. Not keeping a child in a child's place. 

Don't get upset if your child is reacting a certain way based on the responsibility you've put on them.

Ephesians 6:4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.

3. Not watching their surroundings.

I remember I had to change school 6 months because my baby’s old daycare couldn’t provide my son with some of the disciplinary, I needed him to have as I was at home like saying no sometimes to things he didn’t’ need, babying him, and showing him how to clean up after himself.

4. Disciplining them out of constant anger.

Are you whooping them because they are just being a kid or are you beating them? To me, if you are beating them, remember what beating did to you. Some of us are in therapy now for those beatings. Never release anger on them, this is an easy way for a kid to retain generational curses and instill rebellion in them. Go back to the scripture below.

Ephesians 6:4
Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.


5. Not practicing what you preach.

Not practice what you are preaching is a sure way for your child to do the opposite of what you’re telling them. So, if you are not exemplifying the instruction, don’t expect them to do so as well.

I hope you’ve enjoyed this blog today. If you need some encouragement in faith, mother, and image, don’t sign up to the tribe to receive weekly encouragement and get a BTS of me in the process of writing my book on my story. XOXO Zak