How can a single mother celebrate valentine's day

I know you can't help not to think of next week and it doesn't have to be a complete doozy not having a partner. It's a lot you can do as a single mom, so don't let your situation take root over you with negative thoughts that you're not worthy. Because you are. You're a mom and a great one at that and that's your superpower. 

 

 This week I wanted to share ways you can celebrate love as a single mother depending on your interests and circumstances. Below are some quick ideas:

1. Have a "girls' night in" with your children and close friends, complete with a homemade dinner, a movie, and fun games or activities. If you have someone who can care for your little one then just make it a Galentine's Day celebration. 

    

2. Planning a special outing with your children, such as going to the aquarium or zoo.

    

3. Treat yourself to a spa day or buy yourself a small gift, such as a book or piece of jewelry.

    

4. Spending time with friends and/or family by planning a day out or a dinner.

    

5. Organizing a special date with her children, such as a picnic in the park or an outing to a museum.

    

6. Volunteering with a local organization to give back to your community. 

Ultimately, the most important thing for you is to enjoy the company of those you loves and to do something that makes you feel good. Always know you're never alone. God is love and he created you in his image. Remember that and show love to others.

From sister to sister

Queen to queen

Mother to mother 

You Got this!

Activities List for Sick Toddler at Home

 Hey Sis!

For the last 2 weeks of January, my son and I have been cooped up in the house due to him being sick. What started off as pink-eye ending up being something I have never heard of. Trying to work from home and care for a sick child is a supernatural task, I know God had to step in for me because my my my. I thank God for his guidance and definitely his strength because Whew, it's been something kind of 2 weeks.

In life, I've learned to roll with and keep pushing (but make sure you are resting too). Caring for a sick toddler can be a challenge, but with the right activities, you can make it a little easier for both you and your little one. When a toddler is feeling under the weather, it's important to keep them entertained and distracted from their illness. With that in mind, I’ve compiled a list of fun and soothing activities that are perfect for a sick toddler. From reading and art to sensory play and baking, these activities will help your child feel better while they're on the road to recovery. So grab a cozy blanket, grab your little one, and let's get started!

 

 

1. Reading books and telling stories
2. Playing with play dough or modeling clay
3. Doing a puzzle or working on a coloring book. My favorite are $1 Tree coloring books
4. Building with blocks or Lego's
5. Playing dress-up or pretending with dolls or stuffed animals
6. Watching a favorite movie or TV show
7. Playing with cars or action figures
8. Doing a simple science experiment or craft project
9. Playing a board game or card game
10. Having a dance party or sing-along. Be sensitive to your child sickness to make sure this activities does not upset your toddler's tummy.
11. Doing a scavenger hunt around the house
12. Drawing or painting
13. Playing with water and measuring cups in the bathtub
14. Cooking or baking together
15. Having a indoor obstacle course or treasure hunt
16. Building a fort or teepee with blankets and pillows.

I want to add that during each activity, I make sure I am using newspapers, a large post it sheets, or get inexpensive table cloth at the dollar store so all you have to do is pick up items and dispose of them in the trash. 

 

Taking care of a sick toddler doesn't have to be all about medicine and rest. By incorporating some fun and engaging activities into their day, you can help your child feel better, both physically and emotionally. Remember to keep it simple, and focus on what your child enjoys. Whether it's reading a book, playing a game, or baking cookies, these activities will provide a much-needed distraction from their sickness and give you both a chance to bond. Above all, be patient, offer lots of love and cuddles, and remember that the most important thing is for your little one to get better.

If you need a more structured schedule with everything you need to succeed with a sick toddler at home, grab a copy of my Schedule Guide for Sick Toddlers below.

 

 

How To Get Your Toddler To Sleep In Their Own Bed and Room

Hi Queen!

Happy Saturday. I don't know about you but over the years, I felt like a lot of women unintentionally tried to project their issues onto me by telling me that my son would be 12 years old, still sleeping in my bed. I always looked with a side eye, like excuse me “Unh Unh get somebody else to do it” because that never sat well with me. I don't know about you sis but ain't nobody got time to be fighting these kids and the way they sleep. My son sleeps like he's working the field and I don't miss the nights when my back was on fire because of the many kicks I received in the middle of the night.

Let me tell you exactly what I did sis to help you begin to get a betters night sleep. I went straight to prayer and first asked God to help me with this situation sis because he knows me, and he knows my son. We are not the same! I said, father, you're gone, have to help me because I'll be darned if my son is a teenager and still sleeps in the bed with me. And guess what?!?! God did it!!! 

 

With much practice and consistency on my part. The baby boy sleeps faithfully in his room. He sometimes gets it twisted but I guide his butt right back to his room every time. Remember this is a transition and transitions take time. So give yourself and your toddler grace as you transition to this new season of another transition with your toddler.

 

Want to know exactly how to get this done? Let the operation eviction begin.

 

1. Start by making the transition gradual:

I started by putting my son's bed in my room so he could at least get comfortable sleeping in his bed. As soon as he turned 4, I had to put my foot down and move his bed back into his room so the transition could continue. If that doesn't work for you, begin by having your toddler nap in their bed during the day, and gradually move to have them sleep there at night.

2. Create a consistent bedtime routine:

This can be reading a story or having a dance party right before bed. My toddler is super smart so he knows when we do this, it's bedtime and he tries it but he is typically out no more than 30 minutes later.

3. Make sure their room is comfortable:

That's with a comfy mattress, adequate temperature, minimal noise, and warm lights. To make it extra special by adding their favorite character to their bed and room. My son is a spider man person, so spider-man is everywhere and that's ok. As long as he's out of my bed. I am fine with that.

4. Add thunder or rain sounds to their sleep:

 

My son has been sleeping with Thunder and rain sounds since he came out of the womb. So this becomes second nature to his routine at night and always puts him out. This typically helps draw out any outside noises that may come about because they are already on edge for sleeping alone, so hearing something outside could scare them and prompt them to come to your room

5. Give your toddler a sense of security:

This can be by leaving a nightlight on or providing a special blanket or stuffed animal. Also, adding neon warm lights (like the gamers have) was a game changer for me as well.

6. Be consistent and patient:

 

It may take some time for your toddler to adjust to sleeping in their bed and room, but sticking to a consistent routine will help.

7. Try putting the TV on as they sleep:

 

I didn't know but my son is a TV-sleeping toddler. It reminds me of my dad. When we were little and even now to this day. He sleeps with the tv on and the moment you turn it off, he will jump right out of bed. This must be a man’s thing because I know a lot of men that sleep this way but hey it works.

I hope these tips were helpful and please know I am praying for this transaction in your life that God will give strength to get past this difficult transition. I pray over your children that God will give them peace past their understanding. That they may rest well in their rooms and own bed. In Jesus' name, Shalom.

How to Put God First in Everything as a Single Mom

 

Happy New Year! 

Last week I talked about 6 Ways to Prepare for the New Year as a Single Mom. Over the next few weeks, I am going to be breaking down each suggestion I spoke of to allow you to get a better understanding of how you can tackle this year with ease.

The very first suggestion is all about putting God first. We hear so many people say put God first but do we understand how to practically incorporate this in our lives this year? You may ask, What are the steps? Where do I start? What does this look like? No worries queen, I've got you covered.

 

 

Putting God first in everything is a matter of prioritizing your relationship with God and seeking to align your actions and decisions with His will. I have learned he has to come first and I must look to him as a single mother because as we all know, it's not easy.

Here are a few practical steps you can take to put God first in your life:

1. Set aside time for daily time with God, prayer and studying the word for yourself.

2. If you can, look for a church home in your community and get involved in the community of believers.

3. Seek out opportunities to serve others especially when times are tough or you get lost. This always helps me find my way back to the father.

4. Make decisions based on what you believe is God's will for your life, rather than just what will benefit you in the short term. The worst thing you can do is make a mistake and move in haste based on emotion.

5. Surround yourself with people who can support you in your efforts to follow God.

 

 

Remember that this is a process, and it may take time to develop habits that help you put God first in everything. Be patient with yourself and seek guidance from God and other believers along the way.

 

 

From Sister to Sister,

Queen to Queen,

Mother to Mother 

You got this! ✨

 

6 Ways to Prepare for the New Year as a Single Mom

As the year comes to a close, it's a natural time to reflect on all that has happened over the past 12 months. It's been a difficult few years for many, with the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic affecting nearly every aspect of our daily lives. But despite the challenges we've faced, there have also been moments of hope, resilience, and even joy. As we look back on the year, it's important to remember both the struggles and the triumphs, and to find ways to move forward with gratitude and determination.


Please know you don't have to end the year with the thought of what 2023 looks like.I don't want you to stress or get overwhelmed. It can be simple. If you want to get a head start on your next year, here are a few ways you get ready for the new year as a single mom.


1. Put God first in everything you do:
 

The word of God tells us in Matthew 6:33 (ESV) it says: “But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” I've learned when I include God in everything, nothing is impossible.

2. Take care of yourself:

Make sure to carve out some time for self-care. This could include things like exercising, spending time with friends, or just relaxing and taking a break from your busy schedule. This week is a great week to do so. Remember, it's important to be kind to yourself and not to try to do too much at once. It's okay to take things one step at a time and focus on what's most important to you.

3. Get organized:

Take some time to declutter and organize your home. This can help you feel more in control and make it easier to find things when you need them and elevate extra stress.

4. Do a faith board and set goals:

Take some time with God to see what he has in store for your new year. Create a faith board. Think about what you want to accomplish in the new year. This could be personal goals, such as exercising more or learning a new skill, or professional goals, such as finding a new job or starting a business. Having a clear vision and goals can help you stay focused and motivated throughout the year.

5. Plan ahead:

Take some time to plan out your schedule for the coming months. This might include setting up appointments, making travel plans, or scheduling time for activities with your children.

6. Create a financial plan:

Review your finances and create a budget for the new year. This will help you stay on track with your spending and ensure that you have enough money to cover your expenses.

I hope these steps were helpful. Here's to a bright and hopeful new year filled with opportunities for growth, healing, and success.

How to Stay Sane as a Single Mom

 

How to Stay Sane as a Single Mom

Hey sis! Happy Friday and Mental Health Awareness month. I don't know about you but motherhood can sometimes get the best of you if you let it. It's a handful and a second job especially if you're a single mother. But guess what? I want to change your perspective today to know that even though you may feel alone, you are not alone, God is right with you.

The enemy use to try and toil with my emotions telling me:

• I was alone.
• I didn't sign up for this.
• That I was being punished somehow.
• That my child was bad.
  

Until one day, the holy spirit had to remind me that:

• I am never alone.
• God got my back.
• I am not being punished.
• My child is a gift from God.
  

Transparency moment: I had to get real with myself and God. I went to God and had a straight up moment with him earlier this year. I said, God you knew I would be here, you knew the outcome of my life before I knew it. I know I have made mistakes but there has to be a better way of living like this in motherhood. I am your daughter but why does this feel so hard and feel defeated? I did not sign up to be worn out, tired all the time, and just feeling completely depleted.

Let me tell you about the power of God! All I felt was the power of God submerged me with his presence and lifted the heavy burden off. I was set free in this area and I can honestly say my mind changed, my heart changed, and motherhood changed because what I once thought was a burden, God was gifting me in real life. This is just one of many posts coming to you sis but know if you have an honest conversation with God about the things He already sees in your heart. God says:

 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

With this being Mental Help Awareness Month, below are 3 Ways You Can Stay Sane as a Single Mother

1. Commune with God Daily

This is key to staying sane. Starting your day with God will solidify your foundation on where your trust is. It's a reassuring feeling to have time with your father and even if it's not in the am, there are plenty of options you can commune with him. In your car, at your work desk(if you have a 9-5), on your lunch break, in the bathroom, right now.

2. Take a moment for you

This is yet another key. I remember when I first became a mother. I had no time for myself and was so afraid to ask for support until I got completely burnt out. It's ok to ask for help, its ok to take time for you. Remember, if you aren't good, your family isn't good. Mark 12:31 states to ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.” How are you loving yourself?

3. Cover your children in Prayer

This is my favorite. Let me tell you about the authority you have over your child. Our kids are our assignment, they are a gift from God. Covering your kids is probably one of the best things you can do for your children because you can't stop all pain from happening to them but God our father can cover them in ways you couldn't imagine.

I hope these were some helpful tips for you and hope you have an awesome weekend. To get you started on the task of covering. Download the “5 prayers to pray over your children.” It was a game changer for my life. 

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Top 3 Things You Should be Cautious About When it Comes to Your Kids

 

With so much going on in the world like the multiple suicide, death, and kidnapping. I am a true believer, that if we can identify the little things early on in our children's journey, we guide them in the right path. 

 

For the past 2 years, I have set down and began to monitor what my child is watching, looking at, singing, the whole 9. With so many ways the enemy comes in, we as parents should be aware of our kid's eye/ear gates as well as ours. The devil is busy prowling like a lion and he’s especially going after our kid's childhood. God has put me on assignment this year to make you aware of a few things as parents to watch-out for. See below for my top three things so far this month.

1. What they're watching 

YouTube-Kids

I love YouTube but after watching my baby’s screen time over time, I realize that it is not for kids. It doesn't matter how much you monitor or put parental controls on these devices, these kids will either find another way to get to it, or YouTube somehow still shows them similar suggested videos.

My suggestion: Erase the app.

Examples below.

• A man in a dress and an IT figure in a LIVE video.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qW_doLPMFxo

• Aliens saying Give It to me. Dame tu cosita, ah ah, Dame tu cosita, ah ay. English translation Give it to me, ah ah. This video has over 500 billion views and I'm sure 90% are young kids under 5 years old. 

   

  Though the literal translation of the word "cosita" is innocent enough (it means "little thing"), the chorus of this ditty is dripping with sexual innuendo. Just like the "it" in the English translation given above, "cosita" most likely refers to someone's genitalia, so this song isn't one for the kids but is on YouTube kids. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k3EFfS9yLfQ

• Women bent over on a spider-man YouTube video

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=67yRDVpisj4

2. Cultural Practice

Lately, I have been seeing parents incorporate gentle parenting into motherhood.

Did you know gentle parenting was created by an atheist? Don't believe me? Look up Diana Baumrind https://www.apadivisions.org/division-35/about/heritage/diana-baumrind-biography

I am not here to tell anyone what/how to parent, just want you to research everything that society is making trendy. Remember we are in this world but not of it.

3. British nursery rhymes

Have you ever wondered why a lot of songs come from Britain or are British? Why are songs repeated in history, generation after generation? Well, you wouldn't believe this, a lot of the songs our children are singing at school are depicting death upon them. Some rhymes have multiple meanings but these are a few that stuck out to me during my research over the past 3 years and they are not songs we sing in my home. I don't sing any of the nursery rhymes due to the historic origin of them all. My advice: Do your homework.

• Ring around Rosey- The fatalism of the rhyme is brutal: the roses are a euphemism for deadly rashes, the posies a supposed preventative measure; the a-tishoos pertain to sneezing symptoms, and the implication of everyone falling down is, well, death

• London bridges-London Bridge Is Falling Down” rhyme refers to the use of a medieval punishment known as immurement. Immurement is when a person is encased into a room with no openings or exits and left there to die

• Humpy dumpy- meaning a person or thing that once overthrown cannot be restored.

• Here We Go Round the Mulberry Bush- Lucy Locket is about a famous spat between two legendary 18th Century prostitutes. Here We Go Round the Mulberry Bush originated, according to historian RS Duncan, at Wakefield Prison in England, where female inmates had to exercise around a mulberry tree in the prison yard.

• Baa, Baa, Black Sheep-a song that alludes to slavery. The reasoning here was that the titular “black sheep” was a reference to African slaves, with the wool referencing them being forced to work on farms

For more research, I love this BBC article on nursery rhymes: https://www.bbc.com/culture/article/20150610-the-dark-side-of-nursery-rhymes

Again, this blog is not to bash, condemn, or point the finger. I am here to make you as a mother, aware of how the enemy prowls so that the weapon may be formed but you have the ability to not allow it won't prosper. Please take the time to research the things that involve your kids, monitor them, take time with them, and do not allow society to tell you how to raise your child. Ephesians 6:4 states to train them in the instructions of the Lord. Go to God about what to do, not people, YouTube, or the world."Culture can't teach you how to raise a kingdom kid." It'll never work. 

I hope this blessed you. If so, hit me up on IG @zaklgrace and let me know in my DM's.

If you're not subscribed to the authentic tribe. See below.

 

 

How to Instill Faith with Your Child at a Young Age

 

 

Hello! Welcome to AuthenticallyZ, where I help you refuel your faith, work on your image, & tackle motherhood. I did a Live on IG on how to instill faith with your child at a young age. This article is not to tell anyone how to parent their children but simple tips to train up your child so they won't depart as the word of God says.

 

As I think about motherhood, the first thoughts for me are the future. I think about the day my baby leaves for college and start his new life. I never want to be that mother that doesn’t have a life without baby. In order for that to happen I want my son to know how he can solely lean on God, not always me. I will always have an open communication with my baby but I want him to have direct connections with God. Below are some tips on how to instill faith with your child at a young age.

1. Teach them about God and who he is. 

I used to make jokes about how God sees all with my baby but I don't want my baby to be scared of God but have respect for him so he won’t rebel against himself. God told me to teach him who I am and show him the way, my truth and my light.

2. Create a daily routine

Pray every night and morning with them. Trust they will begin to remember. Around eating time. I started praying with my baby at 6 weeks and he is now 3 and know how to pray. Take the time to train them, the impact will make a difference in their lives.

3. Live out faith in front of them.

We are our children's first heroes whether we want to or not. Our job is to introduce God to them so they can have a relationship with him. That starts with surrendering our kids back to God. One thing I never want for my baby to do is not known what real emotions are and try to hide my feelings. I want him to know emotions but understand how to turn worry to God instead of focusing on the problem at hand.

4. Incorporate Christian music in their lives

Instead listen to songs that can destroy them. Try listening to Christian music from time to time. So they begin to understand the difference. And explain the difference between secular/ Christian music.

5. Heal if you have hurt within.
 

"Heal before your child has to heal from you."

By healing and allowing God to do work within you. Your children will see the fruit of it. And get to experience something better. With these kids, you can't say it's what I say, not what I do. They will not go for that. They are coming out asking questions, and demanding answers and I don’t blame them.

5 Things that Can Alter Faith in Your Child

These are tips based on the damage I felt I experienced as a child. Also, from surveying family and friends with questions. Think about what happened to you as a child and do your best not to plant the same seeds.

1.What they're watching

Certain TV shows have subliminal message that sits in your child mind. One thing I love to do is monitor what my baby is doing and watching. Back in December I started realizing an aggression with my child began to have over YouTube kids so I pulled it. The stuff that was coming on and the things he was clicking on truly disturb me as a mother. See…. Watch what their watching and see how they are responding

2. Not keeping a child in a child's place. 

Don't get upset if your child is reacting a certain way based on the responsibility you've put on them.

Ephesians 6:4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.

3. Not watching their surroundings.

I remember I had to change school 6 months because my baby’s old daycare couldn’t provide my son with some of the disciplinary, I needed him to have as I was at home like saying no sometimes to things he didn’t’ need, babying him, and showing him how to clean up after himself.

4. Disciplining them out of constant anger.

Are you whooping them because they are just being a kid or are you beating them? To me, if you are beating them, remember what beating did to you. Some of us are in therapy now for those beatings. Never release anger on them, this is an easy way for a kid to retain generational curses and instill rebellion in them. Go back to the scripture below.

Ephesians 6:4
Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.


5. Not practicing what you preach.

Not practice what you are preaching is a sure way for your child to do the opposite of what you’re telling them. So, if you are not exemplifying the instruction, don’t expect them to do so as well.

I hope you’ve enjoyed this blog today. If you need some encouragement in faith, mother, and image, don’t sign up to the tribe to receive weekly encouragement and get a BTS of me in the process of writing my book on my story. XOXO Zak

5 Scriptures to Pray Over Your Child Daily

 

Happy Friday! I hope your day is filled with love, peace, and productivity. Lately, God has had me in a state of deep intercession for the little ones, especially my baby because I don’t know about you guys but growing up as an adult, I had to relearn a lot that stemmed from childhood trauma. In my journey of faith, I have made it a priority to make sure I intercede for my baby now for later attacks that may try to arise. During this process, God spoke that this needs to be a daily routine as mothers, grandparents, aunts, teachers, or even a Godparent.

Today we are diving in a few scriptures you can pray over your children daily. One thing I’ve learned when it comes to prayer is that we may not always see immediate results or the results we expect but God will always change something in us. These are a blessing to me so I know they will be a blessing for you. I literally cried.

 

5 Scriptures to Pray Over Your Child Daily

 

1. Proverbs 22:6

Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old, he will not depart from it.

 

Prayer: Father help me to begin training up my children in the way they should go, so they will not depart. In Jesus name, Amen.

           

2. Ephesians 6:4

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. 

 

Prayer: Father help me to be more like your son Jesus so I won’t provoke my children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of you.  

In Jesus name, Amen.

                                                            

3. Proverbs 20:7

The righteous who walks in his integrity— blessed are his children after him! 

 

Prayer: Father, thank you for being my father, my protection, my love. Holy spirit, thank you for guiding me to walk in integrity each and every day so that my children are blessed and my children’s children’s are blessed. In Jesus name, Amen.

 

4. Psalm 115:14

May the Lord give you increase, you and your children! 

 

Prayer: Father, Thank you for increase! Increase in my heart, increase in my mind, and an increase in my soul and that because you have instilled these things to me, you will bless my children. In Jesus name, Amen.

5. Proverbs 13:24  

Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him. 

 

Prayer: Father thank you for this gift you have given me. Thank you for motherhood, thank you for giving me the ability to birth this child. Father when it comes to disciple, help me to discipline my child to your liking how you would discipline me. Father may all anger, agitation, and disguise leave my spirit and renew my mind to see my children the way you see them as precious gems from heaven even when they don’t act like it. In Jesus name, Amen.

Click below to grab you a copy of “5 Scriptures to Pray over your Child Daily” and watch how this blesses you as much as it did to me. You can put this in your prayer closet, your fridge, your work desk, your bathroom, even your car.

 

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